Economic Empowerment of Women
I have a very distinct memory of when I was in 5th grade, 11 years old or so, in India. I had a test the next day but instead of studying, I was goofing off. My mother, who was particular about us doing well in our studies, was not pleased with me. I can still hear the frustration and urgency in her voice: “If you don’t study you will become a housewife.”
Recently, I was invited to lead a ‘Mentor Leadership Walk’ on International Women’s Day in Manhattan’s High Line. The theme was Shining-The-Light. And I was searching for an idea for the walk.
I had apparently told my story to my assistant Veronica at some point. She reminded me of my incident and added that in her own life, when she got economic empowerment, she noticed a change. Veronica, who herself runs a not-for-profit after-school program for Latino kids in Redwood City, has her own powerful story. She was a housewife raising her four young kids in Mexico City, but soon started volunteering in schools to teach young kids. And then was offered a paying position. That is when she got emboldened to do things that would have looked totally unachievable. There is more to her story, though it is hers to tell. I constantly seek her wisdom.
My mother’s words,”‘If you don’t study, you will become a housewife”’, made me promise to myself I would never let that happen to me. My mother had an undergraduate degree in English literature. Back in India, in those days, she was far ahead of the times. Yet she did not work. My father, an engineer, was the sole earner of the family. That was normal. Women did not work outside the house (however, in lower-income households, women had to work and still do). I suspect she did not feel equally valued in her relationship, perhaps because she did not bring income home.
When you are a woman, money matters: If you don’t contribute to the economy by working, your voice does not count. If you don’t strive for promotions and recognition, you get relegated to lower-paying jobs, repetitive and boring. Those are the problems women face today.
Economic independence gives us the freedom to make life choices, even when balancing work and family can be challenging. I cannot speak as meaningfully to this as I am from a privileged class. But Veronica is not. She was able to rebuild her life after her divorce, in a more meaningful way, because she started making money as a teacher, she says.
As I look back at my life, my mother’s words apparently invoked what to aim for. Girls are delivered mixed messages. These are encouraged to excel in schools and to compete with boys. As a result, they get admitted to great colleges. But then, in some form are told “Be sure to fetch a husband”. Does it mean get educated just incase faced with divorce or widowhood? They don’t quite know if they will follow the same path as their mothers.
In contrast, we raise boys with a singular expectation: they must work and earn money. How to handle relationships and parenting is expected to come organically, and to be dealt with by the wives they must find. Their only worry is to do well in school. A singular focus is very valuable in early life when one is trying to make sense of the world.
As I reflect back, it is the process of competing that has shaped me and opened my eyes to how I can learn and grow. I have experienced healthy competition all my life: today when I play bridge, in my career when I was an entrepreneur, at university when I was an engineering student applying for jobs, and even in my childhood, because I was encouraged to focus on my studies and perform well academically, even as a young girl. My comfort with competition is what has giving me choice and freedom in my life.
As a result of those frustrated words from my mother — and they were not the only ones — I was able to support my parents in their old age until their death. They both came to America, where they had sent me to study, even though it drove their bank balance to zero. I became an engineer and came to the US so that I could make money to support myself and others. It was not easy, but it could have been much harder if I did not feel economically empowered.
When women are economically empowered, everyone wins. Working mothers can be strong role models for their children, and kids grow up watching both of their parents contribute in meaningful ways. This also allows fathers to be engaged in raising kids, and the pressure to provide does not fall on their shoulders alone.
